This is hardly the best of times thanks to gas, the war and the economy. But for the worst of times, the male groin area has that hands down.

First, Chris Snyder suffered an injury that few outside the medical community probably knew was possible. The catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks fractured a testicle. Yes, he fractured a testicle (those with a Y chromosome know why I had to repeat that, as the sheer horror makes it so unbelievable). Snyder takes all the usual precautions when suiting up for duty behind the plate, but I am sure that if he thought for one second that there was just a minuscule chance he would break a nut, he'd be in right field before you could say, "Don't forget your cup."

Apparently a fractured testicle involves tearing of the soft tissue. I imagined an overripe grapefruit that is slammed against the wall and split, pulp oozing from the gash. Then I stopped imagining that for obvious reasons. I am pretty sure if given a choice, 99.9 percent of men would choose Novocain-free dental surgery over even the slightest possibility of fracturing a testicle. The other .1 percent are eunuchs.

I thought that was the worst thing that could happen until I came across this story out of Romania -- a court there ordered a surgeon to pay $795,000 to a man whose penis he accidentally severed during surgery on the man's testicles (note to Snyder: do not outsource your medical care to Romania to save a few bucks).

At first you might not think this is a bad thing. A penis worth a nice home in Scottsdale, or a lovely walkup in Manhattan? Not bad. Or you could sell it on eBay and not have to worry about your plummeting 401k. And everytime you went to the bathroom, you'd have this comfortable feeling that your financial future was in your hands.

But wait, there's more. Doctors took a tendon from the arm of the man with no penis and attached it down there, Why? For aesthetic reasons. And perhaps aiming as well.

There are worse things than going through life with an aesthetic penis. I just can't come up with any right now.