As I get older, generalities lose their veracity and mean less and less. For example, when I was 20, I knew that everyone going the speed limit in the fast lane was a jerk. Now that I’m 50, I realize that only some of those people are jerks, the ones who insist the speed limit is absolutely the fastest you should go, thus they are “proving a point” (and being jerks) by remaining in the fast lane. Others are simply misguided or not paying attention. And I’ve also come to realize that relatively slower people in the fast lane are not there solely to tick me off.

Not everyone comes to this realization as their brains ferment (becoming more refined and of a higher quality) over the decades. There are millions who firmly believe such generalities as “Iraq is a threat to America” and “Illegal is illegal.” Yet if they were to pause and think of those statements on a case-by-case basis, they would realize the words are as hollow as a Wal-Mart promise to pay its clerks a living wage.

With that in mind, here are generalities that I still generally believe:

Aisle seats are way better, mostly at sporting events, with theaters and airplanes right behind.

Those 80 and older should not be driving. Those 70 and older should not be driving without an annual driving test. Anyone who thinks, “I love being behind the wheel of this RV” should not be driving at all.

Just because you can afford to buy something way bigger than you need does not mean you should.

If there truly was a God, chocolate would cure cancer.

George W. Bush may not be the dumbest U.S. president ever, but he is certainly in the top 3.

Once I get to know a Republican, I can actually get to like him or her. Given time.

We don’t own up to our problems like our parents did (yes, I’m talking to those people who took out risky home loans and then blamed the availability of those loans when financial troubles started).

Not everyone who buys a Hummer is trying to make up for having a tiny penis. Women, for example.

Leave Britney alone.

Spirituality can be fulfilling. Religion is merely polarizing.

It is not a crime to want you hair cut in silence.

Dogs rule, cats drool.

Those who believe abstinence is the solution to teen pregnancy either have forgotten their own teenage years or were such total geeks they never had a shot at getting any.

If the Super Bowl continues to hire talented yet irrelevant halftime acts, Earth Wind and Fire would be an excellent choice.

Double Stuf Oreos with peanut butter crème are the best mass-produced cookies in the US.

Molly Johnson’s peanut butter chocolate chip cookies are the best homemade cookies in the US, if not the world.

Ugliest English word is definitely the “c” word – “censorship.”

A sharing of opinions and ideas can be enriching, especially when those opinions and ideas conflict. Spewing vile thoughts anonymously across the Internet is cowardly.

Arrested Development was one of the best shows on TV, and I blame you for not watching and having it canceled.

I am a decent man with a few dickish tendencies rather than a dick with a few decent tendencies.

If you are caught in this country illegally, let’s still treat you humanly, if not humanely.

Worst household chore: dusting.

Best household chore: yeah, right.

Those who ignore history are most likely high school students, and are certainly doomed to repeat it if they don’t get their act together.

Superman could beat any other superhero in a fair fight.

As you get older, you become more appreciative of others’ talents. Not counting those talents of romance writers.

Loyalty to your company stopped being an admirable trait about 15 years ago.

In more cases than not, he who smelt it is not the one who dealt it.

If you are against affirmative action and belong to a class that has never been subject to centuries of racial oppression, from slavery to systematic segregation to profiling, four words: Shut the hell up.

Two statements guarantee to make any reasonable person cringe: “Everything in my life has led up to this moment” (true whether you’ve just made love for the first time or decided on cherry over raspberry Toaster Pastries) and “He died doing what he loved to do” (apparently far worse than dying while doing what you don’t like to do).

Marriage is a flawed institution, and kudos to those who make it work.

Those who have asked “What part of ‘illegal’ don’t you understand?” should meet the girl from Mexico who came with her parents when she was two, received outstanding grades while working two jobs to help her family, saved enough for college and, after a routine check of records just prior to her graduation and the start of her job at a bioresearch company, was deported to a country she considered foreign. Yeah, that’s the part of “illegal” I don’t understand.

Feel free to leave comments. Who knows, I may have a part 2.