Saturday, August 25, 2007

So I was listening to Chicago’s “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is” and realized the guy who wrote it was being such a dick.

As he’s walking down the street one day, a man comes up to him and asks him what the time was that was on his watch (not that anyone would phrase the question like that, but OK, dramatic license).

So the man with the watch, instead of saying, you know, “It’s 2:15” or whatever, launches into this lecture about does anybody really know what time it is, or does anyone really care?

In answer to that first question, yes, tons of people really know what time it is. Even when this song was written about 15 BC (Before Cellphone), you could get the right time by calling a certain number, or checking the bank sign, or asking a guy on the street who wasn’t being a dick.

In answer to the second question, again, it’s tons of people. If no one really cared about time, what good would plane schedules be, or a three-minute egg, or the half-hour your girlfriend tells you she’ll be ready by (which is more a gross mis-estimation of time than not caring about time).

And if the guy with the watch doesn’t care about time, why the fuck is he wearing a watch?

So instead of getting an answer, the guy asking about time instead has to listen to some existential bullshit about we all have time enough to die, when all he really wanted to know was if he had enough time to get to a meeting or catch his favorite show or meet his buddy for a couple of beers.

But he doesn’t find out the time because he happened to ask a guy who’s a complete dick.

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