Story doesn’t follow local man out of bathroom

PRINCETON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – An insurance adjuster encountered a violation of personal space inside the fourth-floor men’s room, yet did not share the potentially humorous encounter with co-workers.

Larry Genesee, 43, of Midco Insurance, entered the empty bathroom and took the last of four urinals, as is his custom when all are vacant. About 10 seconds into his urination, Daniel Fowler, 28, of the claims department entered and stationed himself at the third urinal, right next to Genesee.

About 30 seconds later, Genesee zipped up, washed his hands and returned to his desk without saying a word, according to witnesses.

Genesee’s failure to rant shocked those in adjacent cubicles.

“When I heard about it a few hours later, how some guy walked in and peed right next to Larry even when the other urinals were empty, I was amazed,” said Craig Denderstahl, 35, an 11-year veteran at Midco who’s worked next to Genesee for three years. “I hadn’t heard a peep from Larry, and he usually goes off on just about anything. Like last week when he delivered this 15-minute monologue about a woman who left her grocery cart in the middle of the aisle. I’d think a guy pissing next to him would be worth about 20 minutes.”

Vince Troy, 57, Genesee’s supervisor, entered the men’s room just in time to see Genesee glance quickly at the man next to him before finishing.

“I knew it would be trouble,” Troy said. “Every time something like that happens to Larry, such as the guy who was in front of him at Starbucks and ordered, like, 20 lattes, he has to fill everybody in on the details, going off on how clueless some people are. It really affects productivity. I actually have to build Larry-based downtime into our budget.”

Troy followed Genesee to his desk, hoping the employee would notice his boss and keep the rant to 10 minutes or less. Instead, Genesee remained silent.

Charlene Brevant, 47, who sits across from Genesee and has perfected what she calls a “Signature anti-Larry move” to avoid his patter – pressing the test button on her phone to make it ring, saying “I have to get this” – knew something was up when she saw her boss following Genesee to his desk.

“That only means one of two things,” Brevant said. “Either Larry was going to take it up the ass again, or something happened and Larry was about to rant.”

Taking no chances, Brevant turned toward her phone as Genesee returned to his cubicle, her finger poised over the test button. But Genesee remained silent as he studied the latest actuarial tables.

“I thought I was going to get another story like the one last week when he went on and on about how he deserves both armrests when he’s stuck in the middle seat in coach,” Brevant said. “But he goes right back to the actuarial tables, which was somewhat comforting because he has no fucking clue what they mean, so it was still Larry being Larry.”

Theresa Grivens, associate professor of psychology at Princeton, said Genesee’s unusual behavior likely is related to the gradual fading of the Seinfeld factor.

“When that show came on, America was inundated with scenes revolving around insignificant events,” Grivens said. “One week no one cares about the guy who takes the last cup from the water cooler without replacing the bottle, and all of the sudden it’s fodder for discussions, leading to one petty grievance after another.”

By the show’s fourth year, incessant babble about nothing was up 38 percent compared to the typical pre-Seinfeld year, according to the American Association for Meaningless Statistical Tracking, which also said bathroom stall doors were 12 percent shorter today than in 1963.

But the most recent study shows baseless conversations down 19 percent since Seinfeld’s last season.

“It’s a gradual decline since reruns can still be seen on four out of five cable stations,” Grivens said. “And I expect worthless observations to rise in the double digits thanks to the Seinfeld DVDs now on the market, and it could double or triple if TBS becomes the Seinfeld Station, which could happen if it fills its last two non-Seinfeld hours with reruns.”

Genesee refused to comment, saying only, “Sorry, I’ve got to get this.”